I am so freakin’ tired of doing dishes! I feel like that takes about 80% of my stinkin’ day. If it weren’t so un-PC and enviromentally unfriendly, I’d make the Munkee eat off paper plates for the rest of my Palmolive-filled life.
Feed Me Seymour
All right, either this Food Lover’s Fat Loss System is really reworking my metabolism or it has gone seriously awry and has unleashed a beast within me. Hopefully it’s the former and not the latter. The program says to eat every 2 to 3 hours, but hell, I can barely wait for the 2-hour mark! All this face-stuffing seems so unnatural. Well, we’ll see after 21 days, won’t we?
Posted in Battle of the Bulge
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Ka-Boom
My house looks like all the cabinets, drawers, bins, buckets, you-name-it have vomitted out their contents. I’ve got a basket of clean laundry sitting on the sofa waiting to be put away, piles of paperwork are stacked on my desk in the office, bits of odds and ends consisting of mail, receipts and other miscellaneous paperwork litter one end of the dining table, crumbs of food are scattered all over the floors, and toys are everywhere. In the living room, in the dining room, in the kitchen, the bathroom. All in all, it’s a mess!
I’m working on culling the junk, but all this crap seems to multiply at an alarming rate – like lemmings or tribbles. What frustrates me even more is the fact that I can’t ever seem to get a handle on any of it. I used to have a meticulous and organized desk when I was working. Now, I’m lucky if that laundry basket only sits out for a day.
I know being a “Perfect Mother” is out of the question. I will lose my temper and yell. I will let G spend the day in her pajama top and underwear with blueberry stains on her face. I will let G watch 3 shows in a row just so I can get a little quiet time to myself, but this? Is it so hard to ask for a house that doesn’t look like a disaster zone?
Posted in I am SAHM
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Start Snacking Between Meals
I knew that it was inevitable that I’d put on a few pounds after I stopped breastfeeding Baby G. But nothing prepared me for the whopping 20 that I put on this past year. It was even of enough concern for my doctor that he drew some blood to test and make sure there wasn’t anything seriously wrong with my thyroids at my annual check-up this past May (nope, just turns out that I was fat).
Well, I’m not obese, by any means, but I feel like I could start a fire with the friction caused by my thighs rubbing together if I walked long enough. However, I hate diets. I mean, who really likes them? Half the time everything tastes like crap (steamed chicken breast for breakfast, anyone?) and the other half you’re fixated on all the stuff that you’re forbidden to eat. And with a 2 year old in the mix, I don’t have time to bullshit over “protein plate this” and “power plate that” every minute of the day. But I’m tired of feeling schlubby and wearing nothing but regulation SAHM sweat pants and t-shirts.
So, I’m biting the proverbial bullet. The Munkee and I are doing a new eating program, the Food Lover’s Fast Loss System (“fat loss system”, would this be anything like “preowned vehicle”? ) that was developed by a nutritionist and is about actually eating like a normal person. We took the first steps of weighing ourselves and taking measurements last night and started day one of it today. Strangely enough, I’m not too depressed by it. Well, mind you, I am somewhat depressed after having calculated my fat weight and all that, but how can you hate an eating plan that tells you that you need to start eating small snacks between meals to help boost your metabolism? And how can you especially hate one that says you can have your potato chips (my total weakness and honestly, most likley the reason for my post-nursing 20) as one of those snacks? Honestly, as long there’s no mandate about eating steamed chicken breasts on this eating plan, I’m game (remind me to tell you about that lovely dieting adventure sometime). Cross your fingers for me. And hopefully, I’ll get lucky and go from SAHM to MILF in the next few months.
Posted in Battle of the Bulge
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And the Cat Came Back
Or in this case, the munkee. It’s been a nice break, but I’ve started to notice more and more there are thoughts, commentaries and brain droppings, to borrow from the late Georige Carlin, that I want to get out there. I don’t really care if I have a billion people or no one reading this. Just the idea of those thoughts being put down into words appeals to me. So, here’s to round 2. Let the verbal diahrrea begin!
Posted in Blather
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